Coping with midlife transition takes energy, and it is a time when most people need great support with putting systems in place and sorting out the different changes they are noticing about themselves and their environments.
Counseling helps with reality checks, helps you discover yourself as you learn to redefine your roles, helps you develop positive attitudes of acceptance rather than denial, and encourages you to be "self-ful" (not selfish) and examine what you really wish to do with new freedoms.
Conflict and stress are a normal part of love relationships and marriages. But what rocks and erodes relationships, or breaks them up entirely, is the manner in which partners react to each other: how they express their needs, their differing communication styles, and the built-in patterns they observed and absorbed in their childhood households.
An objective, nonjudgmental professional can help a couple understand what lies beneath the surface of the conflict, help them understand each of their own "relationship profiles," and help them identify and be respectful of each other's sensitive "hot buttons."
The secret to feeling fulfilled on the job is not always finding a better job with better pay or having a more unbiased supervisor. But getting help and support in changing your attitude and the way you view a situation is the one and only thing you can control in the workplace environment.
Attitude can be significantly influenced by where you choose to focus your attention. The way you think about things affects how you feel, which shapes how you act and react. It can change situations and relationships on an energetic level.
There are many professional approaches to assist in learning about ourselves and changing patterns of behavior. Life coaching is a positive approach to goal setting, where the coach works in the present and helps the client set very clear and specific goals that she or he wants to achieve in the future. While the past may be discussed on occasion, it is addressed only in the context of discovering what is blocking the client from moving forward.
Those of us who have cared for elderly parents know the internal conflict of love, loyalty, worry, frustration, resentment, and anger. At times, the responsibilities are overwhelming, encroaching on our lives, schedules, families, and careers. It feels as if we are raising young children all over again, but our aging parents are not children. A therapist can help you learn to set limits, deal with guilt and support you with coping skill s that create healthy bonds.
Life changes and transitions are a natural and inevitable part of life. Change can provide opportunities for growth, self-examination, and insight. A life transition can be voluntary and/or planned, or happen without warning, as in cases of death, serious illness, accidents, natural disasters, caring for an elder, or being the victim of a crime.
This is the time for learning new coping skills and becoming aware of your inner self. The goal is not to forget the past, but to diminish the emotional impact of the change. Letting it go and accepting the new reality is a huge step towards moving forward and living in the present.
A crisis is a time for adapting to new situations and discovering one's tolerance to pain and distressing emotions. We all have the capacity to reorganize our lives after a traumatic event and achieve new levels of order and meaning. We can learn new methods of becoming resilient through professional help and a willingness to examine our inner qualities.
The most positive thing a person experiencing a crisis can do is to express his or her thoughts and feelings in a safe and open manner. Discussing the negative situation with friends, family, or a therapist immediately following the event is a necessary first step toward coping with a crisis.
Divorce is not the only solution to a deeply troubled marriage. By taking control of yourself, you open the door to healing the relationship. You can work through this relationship, solo, even if your partner refuses to go for counseling, has asked for a divorce, or is already separated from you.
If ever there was a time in your life to seek help from a professional-a therapist, marriage counselor, trusted clergy person, this is it. Seeking out a therapist is helpful for venting your emotions and validating your feelings. A therapist can help with dialogue and guide you to an understanding of your own defenses, bruises, vulnerabilities; self awareness can help you connect with your spouse on a different level.
Carole Landis is located in Haverford, Pennsylvania (PA) on the Main Line in Montgomery County. Her service area includes: Philadelphia, Montgomery County (Haverford, Bryn Mawr, Bala Cynwyd, Wynnewood, Villanova, Rosemont, Narberth, Gladwynne, Penn Valley, King of Prussia, Ardmore) and Delaware County (Newtown Square, Broomall, Havertown, Upper Darby).
Contact Carole for a free 1/2 hour phone consultation.